That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
