My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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