Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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