on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Im part way to drunk.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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