North Korea, Best Korea!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
