I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
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you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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