pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
