Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry chelseamareezy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(310): View more from California

i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.

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(718): View more from New York

I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex

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(813): View more from Florida

I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam

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(682): View more from Texas

I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.

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(561): View more from Florida

But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

if i bang your brother are we still cool?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.

(571): View more from Virginia

You don't even like football

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(727): View more from Florida

My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?

(303): View more from Colorado

Threesome!

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