To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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