OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
...so i touched it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
please come you make the beer taste better
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
