Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
