dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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