we have officially lost it.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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