so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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