Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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