So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
