I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize