of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
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So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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