found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
