Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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