fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
