so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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