So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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