I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize