Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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