Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The uberlube is also flammable
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
