i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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