I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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