Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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