So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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