I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
