i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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