Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
whose ass print is on the piano?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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