I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sext me about skeletons
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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