ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
