whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
