Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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