ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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