By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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