i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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