**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
