What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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