seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
