Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
