she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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