I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
