I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
