Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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