I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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