If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
