They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
