She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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