you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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