did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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