She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize