Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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