yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
