the day after is always just damage control
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
