so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
