Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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